Its April now, and although the first official day of Spring was in March, I think it's finally hitting me that in a few weeks (at least in Michigan) we will be able to pack away the boots, scarves and hats for a while. Spring always makes me think of new beginnings. Like Mondays.... a fresh start. And while most people look forward to spring cleaning their homes, closets, garages, etc.... I look forward to spring cleaning my life. I usually move, which those who know me know that I love to move.... I change my phone number (to lose those people I should have never found in the first place) I purge clothing, furniture, hairdos, pounds, electronics, cars, etc.... I let go of all the encumberances that have given me grief and stress in the last year. I know that to some my way of life is a bit strange, but I guess if you remember back long enough, I've been living simply since I left home. It doesn't take much to make me happy (except shoes), and nothing I own has any significant sentimental or monetary value so it's easy for me to leave it all behind.
I plan on doing just that at the end of April. Im moving again. Im not taking much with me as nothing much that I own do I even WANT anymore. Just the basics-and the shoes!- will suffice. I'm excited about this move because for the first time in 15 years am I getting everything I've ever really wanted in a home. And although it's more expensive than any other place I've ever lived, it's worth it to have it all...including both of my children...living there with me.
I've also taken in a couple more stray dogs. One four legged, one two legged. I must say I like the four legged one better but that's a whole other topic. Either way, Im sure I'll be rewarded for my generosity. And to anyone who reads this: It's not too much for me to handle. Idle time gives me an opportunity to dwell on all that's WRONG with my life. The work I put in taking care of the animals, kids, and men who act like kids keeps my mind so occupied that I don't have to dwell on the fact that I feel completely unequipped for life.
I am feeling much more positive these days, despite how the world views me. I like myself much more as I get older.... this old skin of mine is becoming more familiar and more comfortable by the moment. True, I have the 'mean reds' a little more than usual.... but there hasn't been one episode I couldn't come out of. And for that I thank Jehovah God... and my therapist equally! Until next time, I urge all of you to pick up a bouquet of Gerber Daisies, and slowly sniff each and every one. It'll make you feel absolutely fabulous!
b.
